Now where was I?
There are few things that bother me more than musical numbers in musicals that stop mid-song so characters can have a bunch of expository dialogue. It's such shoddy craftsmanship. The whole point of the musical should be that the story is told THROUGH SONG, not through dialogue that happens in-between verses of the song. I mean, sure, a line or two here or there isn't terrible. But when the whole momentum of a number grinds to a halt so characters can conversate? What's the point? Just write a play next time!
Perhaps the worst offender I can think of is in Hairspray, which was a massive hit that spawned a movie and a live TV production so probably nobody cares about this but me. If you've ever listened to the original Broadway cast recording of Hairspray then you know that the finale of the show, "You Can't Stop the Beat", is a certified banger. What you may not realize is that on the cast recording much of the dialogue expositing the ending of the show has been cut out. Watch a production of Hairspray, and when they get to "You Can't Stop the Beat" you'll be wondering why oh why they keep stopping the beat of the best song in the show so characters can talk. On Broadway, the actors are so smooth and fast that they get away with it. In your standard community or school production of Hairspray, these dialogue breaks draaaag oooon.
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| The cast of Hairspray at the National Theater in Washington, D.C., perform "You Can't Stop the Beat." |
Another offender is a from a far LESS successful show: Be More Chill. Essentially a 21st century spin on Little Shop of Horrors, Be More Chill is about a teenager, Jeremy, who willingly ingests a top-secret super computer "from Japan" that manifests itself as a vision of Keanu Reeves that only he can see on the promise that the computer will modify his behavior so that he becomes more popular. Be More Chill would be a great show for high schools to do, with a really bright pop-electronica score, if only the script weren't excessively & needlessly vulgar. (The first line of the show really doesn't need to be, "I'm waiting for my porno to load." You just lost most of your would-be licensees right there.)
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| The cast of Be More Chill at the Shaftesbury Theatre in London performs the show's title song. |
So just as Little Shop of Horrors is a Faustian legend, or a story about a man who makes a deal with the Devil, Be More Chill is as well. In Little Shop, it's the man-eating plant Audrey 2 that promises hapless Seymore Krelborn the world as long as he keeps feeding it, and in Be More Chill it's the SQUIP (Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor) that promises Jeremy everything he could ever want just so long as Jeremy does what he's told. In both cases, of course, it's a fool's bargain and in the end the Devil gets his due.
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| Jeremy Jordan sings with a plant in the Off-Broadway revival of Little Shop of Horrors at the Westside Theatre in New York City. |
Both shows feature a song where the devilish stand-in tempts the desperate fool. In Little Shop of Horrors that number is, of course, "Feed Me (Git It)", now one of the more recognizable songs in the history of musical theater thanks in large part to the excellent film adaptation of the stage musical. In Be More Chill that song is the title song, "Be More Chill". In both cases, the audience is treated to a sinisterly undertoned pop tune that raises the dramatic stakes and ups the tension. In both cases, the song is interrupted by dialogue. But in Little Shop, "Feed Me" is interrupted by a brief scene where Seymour's unrequited love, Audrey, is struck by her abusive dentist boyfriend while the vamping music builds to a rockabilly crescendo. During the number "Be More Chill" the music in the moment stops dead. The tune that had been reeling the audience in drops out entirely for Jeremy to deliver a faux-operatic tale of woe followed by a two minute slow jam where a couple of teen girls seductively offer Jeremey a ride home from the mall.
And I'm just sitting there pissed that they interrupted their good song with two bad ones.
All right, so at least they're still singing. I guess that wasn't my original point. And I've never written a musical so I guess maybe it's hard to write a good musical theater song or something, whatever, I don't know.
I guess, just... you know, when you've written one? Please stop interrupting it so your characters can do something else instead. Just sing the damn song and tell the damn story, and whatever you do?
Please don't stop the beat.
